


Boy

by xanderthenerd



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asshole Ron Weasley, Both sides are assholes so Hermione makes her own, Bully!Marauders, Dumbledore is Transphobic, F/M, Gender Politics in the Wizarding World, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Purebloods, Good Slytherins, Hermione is 17 which isn't underage in the UK so it's not tagged, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort is the good guy in this guys, Neither is James Potter, Neutral Severus Snape, Outing without Permission, PTSD!Severus, Pureblood Culture, Pureblood Traditions, Ron Weasley Bashing, Ron is literally the worst, Schizophrenic!Luna, Sirius Black is not a good man, Slow Burn, Trans!Hermione, Transgender Characters, Voldemort actually kinda has a point but he's still nuts, Voldy is not mentally ill he's literally just Like That, bc gay ppl can b transphobic you guys, because we need more psychotic representation in here, literally everyone is queer or neurodivergent, trans!severus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-24 18:35:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19729420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderthenerd/pseuds/xanderthenerd
Summary: Following Christmas break of her sixth year, Hermione is forcibly outed to the entire school and made to present and live as a male student by Dumbledore. Her views on bigotry and its sources are turned on their head as she realized no one is truly good or bad, and help comes from the most unlikely place: Severus Snape, who is hiding a secret of his own.This fic isn't exactly needed but I'm hella trans and also Snape Trash #1 so I wrote this. Also James Potter is Not A Good Guy in this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! I'm finally writing again. I'm Snamione trash and really wanted a story of them both being trans with all the things I like in fics, so I'm writing it myself! Hermione is of age in the wizarding world in this fic, but she is under 18 and this does begin as teacher/student, though not without some serious reticence/self-loathing on Snape's part.
> 
> I'm not really active on social media anymore but if you want to hit me up Reddit is probably your best bet and my user on there is u/akw2796

Hermione stood stoically in the Headmaster’s office as Dumbledore made the decision to out her as transgender, forcing her to live as her assigned sex, to the entire student body in order to avoid “rumours disrupting the flow of education”, offering her a lemon drop while she seethed inside.

“I’m sorry, my boy, I just can’t allow this to remain a secret now that Miss Patil and Miss Brown have seen the evidence for themselves,” the old man said, putting on a solemn look while his eyes continued twinkling. “We’ll get your things moved to the boys’ dormitory and see about fixing the oversight with the girls’ staircase.”

Hermione recited the method for creating polyjuice potion in her head to calm down before speaking. “Professor, with all due respect --” not that any respect at all seemed due at the moment “-- I’ve been living as Hermione Granger, girl, since I was six years old. I started feminizing potions two years ago. Not even Harry or Ron know I was born a boy. I can’t start living as a boy any more than you could start living as a woman.”

“Mr Granger, that is my final word on the matter. Go see Professor McGonagall about getting the proper wardrobe for a sixth-year boy.”

Hermione did not, in fact, go see McGonagall about her uniform. Instead she went directly to the library and began her research. It seemed most books related to gender magic were in the restricted section, and she would need a note to get one. She began to plot.

Harry searched the Marauder’s Map in vain for the dot labelled “Hermione Granger”. His best friend hadn’t come back from her meeting with the headmaster, and she’d missed lunch. He resolved to go looking for her.

His first stop, and the place she turned up, was the Room of Requirement. He entered to find Hermione surrounded by girly things that she’d never seemed interested in, cuddling a lurid pink plush unicorn and sobbing on a purple velvet loveseat. “Hermione?” he called softly, not wanting to startle her.

Hermione looked up from her place on the loveseat, blinking away the tears blurring her vision to see Harry standing awkwardly in the middle of the room she’d made. She needed to tell him. She had to, before Dumbledore twisted the story into something perverse. She took a deep breath and began, “Hi Harry. I suppose there’s something I need to tell you. And Ron, if he’s available. Actually you’d better bring Neville, Ginny, and Luna as well. I need as many people on my side as possible.”

Harry conjured a patronus and said, “To Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, and Luna Lovegood. Hermione needs to talk to us. Meet in the Room of Requirement.”

“Where on Earth did you learn to do that?” Hermione wondered.

“Dumbledore taught me,” Harry replied, and Hermione’s face fell.

Twenty minutes later, the group stood in the Room of Requirement, redecorated into a lovely sitting room with much less pink glitter. Everyone looked at Hermione, waiting for her to begin.

“I have a secret,” she began. “One that I’ve kept since I was six years old and which Dumbledore found out and is now going to tell the entire school. I suppose I should start at the beginning and then explain how it was found out.

“I was born Liam Othello Granger. I lived as a boy for the first six years of my life, but I always wished to be a girl. When my accidental magic started, the first thing it did was make my hair grow. I’d always wanted long, pretty hair. I once turned my bedsheets pink. Once all my clothes turned into dresses. My parents were clueless as to how it was happening, but they realized what I wanted fairly soon. Luckily my mum and dad know a transsexual (A/N: I know this is a dated term, but this story takes place in the 90’s, when the word transsexual was the norm used to refer to a fully-transitioned transgender person and in the interest of historical accuracy I am using it rather than transgender in dialogue) woman, so they had her come talk to me.

“I started living as a girl when I was six. I switched schools to make the transition easier, and I loved being able to be my true self. I chose the name Hermione because I love Shakespeare, and my mum used to read me The Winter’s Tale as a bed-time story.

“When I was eleven, my Hogwarts letter came, addressed to Hermione Jean Granger. I’d been living as myself for so long I didn’t consider that I’d need to tell anyone at Hogwarts about my birth sex. I started Hogwarts, and when I realized I could go up the girls’ staircase, I was ecstatic.

“Things have been fine for my entire time here until I messed up today. I slept in and was still showering when Parvati and Lavender came in. They saw my, um, bits, and ran to Professor Dumbledore before I could say anything. He called me to his office and said I have to start living as a boy now.” At this, Hermione’s stoic facade finally breaks and tears begin to fall.

While the other four stand frozen in shock, Luna runs to Hermione and wraps her up in a hug, saying, “I already knew that. The wrackspurts get confused by your feminizing potions.”

Ginny is the next to unfreeze, joining the hug and whispering, “I will die before I let them make you live in the same room as my brother. No one deserves that.” Hermione chuckles a bit at that.

“I don’t really understand it, but I can’t see you as a boy. You’re too, um, chesty for that,” Harry says awkwardly.

“A lot of old pureblood families had wizards born as witches or vice versa. It’s generally accepted in the wizarding world, especially by the more traditional families,” Neville informs her.

Finally, everyone looks to Ron expectantly. “How are you lot so bloody calm about this? This...thing just told us it’s been pretending to be a girl for ten years and tricked fucking everybody it’s ever met! I don’t want it in my dormitory, and I’m sure as hell not letting it back in with the girls. God knows what it might do to them!”

“Ron...you’re known me since we were eleven...” Hermione whispers.

“Thought I did. You had me right fooled. Don’t come near me again. And stay away from my sister, I don’t want your pervertedness influencing her.”

Later that evening, after a staff meeting called by Dumbledore seemingly out of nowhere, Severus Snape sat in his quarters staring at the fireplace, a feeling he hadn’t felt in years bubbling up inside him. He felt as if he was back in Cokeworth being yelled at by his father for accidentally burning his Easter Sunday dress. He felt a phantom ache where his father’s belt would hit as he would be beaten for not being a girl. Tears began to run down his face as the thought of Dumbledore, who had saved him, to whom he owed many a life debt, to whom he was sworn in service, being just like Tobias Snape.

Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Harry slept in the Room of Requirement that evening. They’d missed supper and thus Dumbledore’s announcement, but Dobby brought them all their favourite foods so they didn’t go without. The next morning they were all hesitant to leave the safety of that room. They had to go to class, though. Hermione sighed and asked the room for a boy’s uniform in her size.

Once they were all dressed, Hermione in her boys’ uniform, Harry and Hermione headed to Defense Against the Dark Arts while Ginny and Luna went off to their classes. They’d eaten breakfast in the room, trying to prolong the time until they had to see other students.

“Miss...ter Granger,” Severus tried not to cringe, “Mister Potter, you two are late for class. You will each have detention. Granger, you will serve your detention with me, Potter, you will be assisting Professor Slughorn.”

All throughout the lesson, when forced to address Hermione directly, Severus avoided using a title at all, knowing how bad it feels to be misgendered and guessing she’d be dealing with enough of that in the days to come without him adding to it.

“That arsehole! Assigning us detention for being a whole minute late to class! I hope he doesn’t give you too hard a time about the girl thing, Hermione. If he does I might just actually kill him,” Harry ranted as they walked to lunch.

“Did you notice he called me ‘Granger’ the whole time except at the very beginning, though? Not Mister Granger, just Granger?” Hermione pointed out, reluctant to go along with Harry’s hatred of Snape.

“Hermione, I know you’re determined to see good in Snape, but I just can’t see it. By the way did you notice Draco Malfoy staring at you all through class? What was that all about?”

“No, I didn’t, and I think you’re becoming a bit obsessed with Malfoy, Harry. Are you still following him around the school?”

Harry’s silence was all the answer Hermione needed.

“Harry, I’m sure Malfoy’s not up to anything more nefarious than usual,” Hermione said and jumped as she heard a drawling voice behind her.

“Of course I’m not. By the way, Granger, despite your blood status my father is appalled at the treatment Dumbledore is giving you and it seems as if many of the old pureblood families are in agreement. I daresay if you were to file a complaint, the old bat might find himself in quite a predicament,” Draco Malfoy said lowly so only Hermione and Harry could hear before walking off with a parting call of, “Afternoon Potty, Granger.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so as the tags suggest this is a slow burn between Hermione and Severus. Right now she still only sees him as a professor and he still only sees her as a student. That will slowly begin to change, and the start is in this chapter. Also, we get a hint of what the actual plot of this story is (Surprise! It's not just a romance!).
> 
> McGonagall is a bit OOC but I'm not very good at writing her so I tried my best. I hope I did Severus Snape justice with my writing his dialogue. I personally don't like the movies and don't picture Alan Rickman when I think of Snape, so you may not like the way I write his dialogue. I think when he's not in his teacher persona he'd be a lot more talkative.

“Her...I mean Liam, why haven’t you transfigured your badger yet?” Minerva McGonagall asked, looking at the student who, for the past six years, she had come to know and love as Hermione Granger. Minerva was not a sheep, and she would not follow blindly Dumbledore’s prejudice, but she had to bide her time and keep up appearances in the meantime.

“If it could transfigure a badger it’d still be in the girls’ dorms,” Ron mumbled to Dean who was sitting next to him. Minerva bristled, both at the crude language and the lack of respect toward the most promising witch she’d ever taught.

“Mr Weasley, one hundred points from Gryffindor for the most blatantly disrespectful comment about another student it has ever been my displeasure to overhear.” Yes, she may not be able to directly tell Hermione she supported the young witch, but she could certainly punish those who did not.

Minerva walked back over to where Hermione was sitting, dejectedly staring at the animal in front of her, seemingly unaware of her surroundings. “Hermione,” Minerva said out the corner of her mouth, and the girl’s head perked up a bit. “If you would please demonstrate the transfiguration you no doubt can perform flawlessly, I believe you may benefit from a visit to Professor Snape, perhaps for a pepper-up potion, as his classroom is closer than the hospital wing.”

Hermione could tell the potion excuse was just that -- an excuse. She didn’t know why Professor McGonagall thought she should visit Professor Snape, but it was said in a friendly tone along with her real name, so she transfigured the badger into a kitchen sink flawlessly and took her leave.

She knocked on the brooding professor’s office door, and it swung open to admit her access. She spotted the man sitting at his desk grading papers, and he looked up to see the intruder. “Granger, your detention is set for this evening, not during your transfiguration class. I can only imagine that Minerva has sent you here on some errand, so please share the reason for your visit so I can go back to grading the essays of moronic second-years.”

“Well...sir...Professor McGonagall said ‘Hermione’ to get my attention, then asked me to demonstrate the transfiguration and suggested afterward I should visit you. I’m not quite sure why, sir. I’ll just go now, sorry to disturb you,” Hermione said, turning to exit the room.

A deep voice halted her exit. “Wait. Miss Granger, I believe I know the reason Minerva sent you to me, though why she imagined I would ever feel comfortable sharing personal information is beyond me. Nonetheless, I shall try to help you through your current predicament, as well as offer a safe space free from prying ears and bigoted headmasters. Come sit down.”

Hermione turned around, shocked at both the title “Miss” and Professor Snape’s offer of a safe space for her. “Thank you, professor. Though I can’t imagine the Headmaster would be very pleased were he to find out you would allow me to express myself here, especially to a spy, of all people.”

“In this case, Miss Granger, you are in far more danger from Albus Dumbledore than you would ever be from the Dark Lord.” The professor’s dark eyes pierced her own caramel ones, Legilimency searching for any sign she would betray this information to the wrong people. Whatever he found, it was what he was searching for as he nodded and continued, “How much do you know about the divide between purebloods and those who are closer to Muggles? Obviously you are aware of the racial bigotry some purebloods harbor, but have you ever considered the Wizarding world’s view on other types of discrimination, those common in the Muggle world?”

Hermione thought about her answer for a while before opening her mouth hesitantly, “Well, sir, I know from Neville Longbottom that in pureblood circles transsexuals are, if not common, at least unsurprising. I know that gay wizards are treated just the same as straight ones, and there are even ways for two wizards to reproduce. I know racism for wizards is about lineage rather than skin color.”

“In the Wizarding World,” Snape began, “the more one grows close to Muggles, or starts independently learning about them, the more they learn of the Muggles’ prejudices and bigotry. Most wizards see it as nonsense, but there are some, such as our dear Headmaster and the Weasley boy, to whom the prejudices make sense, and justify their fear of things they do not understand. I believe the Weasleys are split about these issues, as Ginevra appears accepting while Ronald is the opposite. The Potters, including Harry’s father, were quite vocal about getting other purebloods to ‘see sense’ and ‘cast out the unnatural’.

“The more traditional families, like the Blacks and the Malfoys, were extremely accepting and wanted to hold on to the traditional acceptance of those who are different as long as they aren’t dangerous. I think that was what drew so many to the Dark Lord, at first. He was promising to maintain the traditions of our culture. After a while, though, he became more focused on eradicating Muggles entirely as he lost his sanity. His followers stay now because the alternative is Albus Dumbledore, who despite being gay himself, has some rather nasty views about other minorities.”

Hermione nodded her understanding and sat in silence for a bit digesting the information. An idea began to form. “Sir, if there were a third faction formed, one accepting of open-minded Muggleborns as well as tradition and Pureblood customs...that would be appealing to the majority of folk, would it not?”

Black eyes seemed to be scanning her entire being before the professor nodded, looking impressed in spite of himself. “Yes,” he said, almost to himself. “Miss Granger, I believe you’ve found the exact solution needed to bring a conclusion to this war with as few casualties as possible. I will discuss this with those I am close to on both sides, and see if any find it an agreeable idea. It could very well be exactly what we need. Now, enough talk about the war and prejudice. Is there anything I can get for you to help you relieve some of the dysphoria I’m sure you’re experiencing right now?”

“Well, sir...perhaps some clear nail varnish and a fruity perfume...I don’t want to change my uniform for fear of angering the Headmaster but I think I can get away with that.”

Severus Snape’s heart, which had been frozen for so long he’d almost forgotten it, threatened to break at the fear in the girl’s voice as she asked for the bare minimum of what he was sure she was used to having as far as beauty items, and the thought of Dumbledore punishing a young girl for wearing nail varnish and perfume. “I will procure these items for you as soon as I can. When you return for your detention tonight, feel free to wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Cover up with your robes to avoid being seen in the halls, but you should not be afraid to be yourself in this room.”

By this time it was nearly dinner time, so Hermione gathered her things after thanking Professor Snape profusely, and headed to the great hall. The Gryffindor table seemed to be clearly divided between those who would let her go near them and those who regarded her as the bearer of some deadly plague. She sat down between Ginny and Harry, feeling eyes on her from all directions.

“What took so long with Snape?” Harry demanded. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, actually. It was very informative. I still need to do my detention this evening, but we can head to the Room of Requirement beforehand and I’ll explain. Grab Luna and Neville as well.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the detention with Severus and Hermione, featuring a Severus beginning to think of Hermione as more of a peer than a student and freaking out because of it, and Hermione feeling safe and comfortable in his office. I meant for this chapter to be more than just the detention, but it got away from me.
> 
> Also, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm a very dialogue-heavy writer most of the time. I'm trying to work on that, but it's just easier to write dialogue than other things for me.

“You’re sure that was Snape? Someone didn’t polyjuice into him or anything like that?” Harry asked again.

“Yes, Harry, as I’ve told you five times, he used legilimency on me and barely skimmed my mind, and the only three legilimens that skillful are Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Snape. And I highly doubt Dumbledore would want to spend his time offering me a safe space, and if Voldemort was in Hogwarts this would not be on his to-do list. So yes, it was Severus goddamn Snape telling me about prejudice in the wizarding world and offering me sanctuary should I need it.”

“Did you just swear?” Harry asked, seeming shocked.

“Just because I don’t have the colorful language of Ronald Weasley doesn’t mean I never use the occasional expletive when needed,” Hermione says, put out.

“By the way, Hermione,” Ginny said, handing a letter to the bushy-haired girl, “the twins are working on some products to help you with something called ‘dysphoria’. They sent me this to give to you. Just check the things you want and ignore the ones you don’t, and they’ll apparently send you a package. They also wanted to congratulate you on keeping a secret from them the entire time they’ve known you.”

Tears formed in Hermione’s eyes at the gesture. “Thank them profusely for me. Then again, I always suspected Fred may have fancied me, so this may be related to that. Anyway, thank them. I’m going to change into something comfortable for my detention since Professor Snape said he doesn’t mind me dressing feminine in his office.”

Half an hour later, Severus heard a knock on his door, and opened it to find Hermione standing in the corridor completely obscured by her robes head-to-toe. “Enter,” he said quietly, cursing himself for the formality, wanting the girl to feel comfortable in the only safe space she had in the castle with the only transgender member of staff, not that he would share that fact with her.

“Good evening, sir,” Hermione -- and when had he begun to think of her by her first name -- greeted him, closing the door behind her and looking at him cautiously. “I’ve dressed in some Muggle clothes I got for Christmas from my parents, if you’re still sure I can wear whatever I want here.”

“Miss Granger, I trust you not to abuse this policy, but Muggle clothes are absolutely fine. Please make yourself at home,” Severus said invitingly.

Severus politely looked away, perusing the books in his shelf, as Hermione removed her outer robe revealing the Muggle clothes underneath. Once he was sure she was decent he turned to look at her, and stood a bit taken aback by the Muggle fashion she was sporting. 

Her top appeared to be a long-sleeve turtleneck in stripes of rainbow colors, a knee-length denim skirt with a brown leather belt, white tights, and black Mary Jane shoes. Her hair was braided in rows from hairline to crown, opening up to wild frizzy curls hanging free, bouncing with every movement she took. She appeared to be wearing some sort of makeup that the shadows from the cowl of her robe had hidden, a glittery substance on her eyelids and gloss on her lips, and she was wearing earrings shaped like small red apples.

Severus realized he was staring after about a minute of silence. He wasn’t sure why he found it even remotely appealing, as there was entirely too much colour and apples were not meant to be earrings, not to mention that her shoes and belt were entirely different colours. But she looked happy, comfortable in her own skin, and perhaps that was what made Severus refrain from commenting on the garish nature of a rainbow turtleneck.

“You look...very happy to be wearing that, Hermione,” he says.

The girl looks at him and smiles wider. “You called me by my first name, Professor. You’ve never done that before. And thank you. I’m not much for the fashion trends right now but I figured bright colors might cheer me up.”

Severus curses internally for allowing himself to be so familiar with a student. It appeared to make her happy, though, and at such a time the poor girl needed all the happiness she could find. “You are most welcome, Hermione. I have some wizarding books on gender theory that you may find interesting or even helpful on the side table there, if you’d like to read. Otherwise, you may amuse yourself however you see fit.”

Hermione was engrossed in a book about how transgender witches and wizards were able to transition, and she was amazed at the possibilities open for her. She’d taken a feminizing potion, but it was meant more for cisgender witches with a boyish figure than for trans witches like herself. She’d figured out a spell to stop puberty before facial hair began to appear, as soon as she felt its beginning at 13 years old, but apparently there were rituals and potions that created a full transformation that could be used in childhood.

“Sir?” Hermione said, bookmarking the ritual she intended to try.

“Yes, Hermione?” Professor Snape came over to where she was sitting.

She opened her book to the page she’d been studying and pointed at the “Ritual to Change the Sex of a Youth”. “Sir, would this be possible for me?”

Severus looked at the page, the same page he had cried over at thirteen when he’d tried the ritual and failed because he’d already begun menstruating. He placed his hand on Hermione’s shoulder -- physical contact with a student, why the hell was he behaving this way, he should let dumbledore fire him for becoming this close to her -- and said gently, “I’m afraid not. It has to be performed before the onset of puberty. I had a, ahem, friend that attempted it at age thirteen, but as he’d already begun his monthly cycle it didn’t work. The only solution for you is to go the route of potions and trying to live with your mismatched anatomy, I’m afraid.”

As he relays this information, his uterus cramps as another reminder that he can never be free of it. Random cramps happen sometimes, a side effect off the Masculinization and Defeminization potions. He tries not to wince. It’s nothing compared to the Dark Lord’s Cruciatus, after all.

Hermione gets back to the Room of Requirement, which has become her new bedroom, late that night, well after curfew. Professor Snape had written her a note in case she was caught after curfew, but she wasn’t spotted. Tonight her only company in the room was Ginny, who felt that Hermione shouldn’t be alone at night and volunteered to be roommates. The redhead startled awake at Hermione’s entrance. “It’s just me, Ginny,” Hermione says quietly, quickly changing into pajamas and removing her makeup before climbing up into the loft bed next to Ginny’s. Hermione had always wanted a loft bed built into a wall, and the room had created two for her.

“How was detention with Snape?” Ginny asked.

“He let me read some books on gender confirmation rituals and potions. Since I’ve already begun puberty, even though I froze its progress, I can’t change my sex. So I’m stuck with, you know,” Hermione mimed a dangling motion with a finger.

“I’m sorry,” the redhead said quietly.

“He called me Hermione. He said he had a friend in school who tried the ritual at 13 but he’d already begun menstruating so it did nothing. He was actually really sweet. He complimented my outfit,” the older girl revealed.

“I think he likes you. It’s obvious he cares about you and wants to help. You’re the only student beside Malfoy he calls by their first name.”

“But he’s my professor! If you’re insinuating he has romantic feelings for me--”

“No, nothing like that. Godric, with how much of a martyr complex the man has he’d probably report himself to Dumbledore if he had any kind of feelings for a student. I just meant he seems to enjoy being around you if he invited you to come whenever you want.”

“I suppose. Good night, Ginny.”

“Good night, Hermione.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of show my age with the fashion Hermione's sporting, don't I? Please comment if you have any suggestions for where this fic should go or what I should do. I have the main plot planned out but I'm just following whatever my brain comes up with first for now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses more on the Slytherins, but it is very important plot-wise. I definitely intend to have Drarry get together quite early on in this fic, and Ginny/Luna probably somewhere near the middle, so this chapter is a little Drarry-heavy. Also, Ginny is done with Harry's shit.

The burn of the Dark Mark woke Draco Malfoy from a very pleasant dream about one Harry James Potter, and he stealthily grabbed his Death Eater regalia from his trunk and met his Uncle Severus outside the Slytherin common rooms. Disillusioning themselves, the duo walked to the apparition point in silence, then apparated to where the Dark Lord awaited them.

The manor didn’t feel like the home it once was to Draco. All the joy of his childhood had been sucked out and replaced with a feeling of despair thanks to the man who now controlled not only Draco’s life, but that of his mother and father as well. The meeting went by in a blur as Draco tried to tune out the recounting of atrocities committed by people he once admired, or even loved. He was asked for a progress report on his mission to kill Dumbledore, and he was loath to admit he was failing. The room had stopped opening for him, and he had no idea why or how. His other attempts had failed miserably.

Uncle Severus saved him by recounting a meeting with Granger who had been “turned, if not dark, at least a considerably darker shade of grey”. The Dark Lord viewed the encounter in Severus’s mind, then Draco recounted his tipping off Granger to disagreement in the wizarding community at large regarding Dumbledore’s decision. After a brief, yet still horrible, round of Cruciatus, Draco was free to go.

Back in the safety of Hogsmeade, Severus made the decision to trust Draco with Hermione’s suggestion of a third wizarding faction, and asked the blonde to spread the word to Slytherins he believed would join. He arranged for Draco to meet him at the Three Broomsticks during the Hogsmeade weekend that week, and privately decided to invite Hermione as well. If the third faction idea was going to work, they needed to put aside old rivalries and work together, and Hermione was the least antagonistic of the Golden Duo toward his godson.

After an exhausting week of living as a boy and being misgendered at every turn, Hermione gladly put on a floral print A-line sundress, a denim jacket, and a pair of leather boots for her trip to Hogsmeade. She nearly skipped down the lane to Hogsmeade, a wide smile on her face at the freedom she had, at least just for this afternoon.

She grabbed a round of butterbeer for herself and the two she was meeting, and sat in a corner booth. She hadn’t been waiting long when she saw two tall figures approaching through the crowd, one with snowy blond hair, the other with jet black locks. She passed the drinks she’d grabbed to each of her compatriots, and looked at them expectantly.

Draco stared at the girl sitting across from him, wondering her motives for meeting here. He was sure, although his godfather had failed to specify whose idea a third faction in the war happened to be, that Granger had conceived the idea to create a third party, a neutral party, in the wizarding war. The girl was a genius, and now that she had been personally touched by Dumbledore’s insane prejudice, she was firmly against both sides in the conflict. Who else could have dreamed up an answer like that?

Both his companions were looking at him expectantly, so after casting as many privacy charms as he knew, including a few Dark ones, he began. “As I’m sure you know, my father is a Death Eater. He followed the Dark Lord in the first war, and continues to do so. After Father was captured and sent to Azkaban, the Dark Lord sought a replacement. I never wanted to be a Death Eater. I was prejudiced against Muggleborns because that’s what I grew up around, but I never wanted to fight in a war.

“Last summer, the Dark Lord marked me as a Death Eater and told me that if I didn’t kill Dumbledore by the end of this school year, my entire family would be killed. By him personally. Severus vowed to protect me, but in doing that bound himself to kill Dumbles.”

Draco took a deep breath, steadying himself. “I’ve been trying to repair a vanishing cabinet in the room of hidden things but I haven’t been able to get in for about two weeks now.”

“Well I know the reason behind that,” Hermione says, chuckling a bit. “I’ve been living in there with Ginny Weasley as a roommate and visits from Harry, Neville, and Luna. I’m afraid to live in the boys’ dorm because of Ronald Weasley and I’m afraid to live in the girls’ because of Parvati and Lavender. You’re welcome to come by as well, Draco, Professor,” she says. “Anyway, we were going to discuss trying to create a third faction of those not loyal to either the old bat or Voldemort.

“I’ve been thinking, and I believe getting Minerva McGonagall firmly on our side could be extremely beneficial. Since Professor Snape is already somewhat friendly with Professor McGonagall, that could be our method. I’ll try to convince Harry to stop obsessing over Draco and following him all over the school.”

Draco’s eyebrows rose. “Potter’s been following me around the school?” he asked, suddenly no longer interested in talk of the war. “Did he say where he’s followed me to? How did he describe me?”

Hermione slapped the back of Draco’s head, ruffling his fine white-blond hair. Draco gave an annoyed huff. “Focus,” the girl said.

“Fine. But now that I know he’s following me you know I’m going to take advantage of that fact for my own use, right?”

“I give you my full permission. He’s been driving us all batty.”

“I will speak to Minerva,” Severus said. “The fact that she used your proper name and sent you to me is evidence she may not be entirely loyal to Dumbledore. I will also observe the other professors and perhaps find more allies.

“I can begin talking to some of the less loyal Death Eaters as well. Those only in it to preserve tradition, not to create mayhem. Draco, ask your mother to contact her estranged sister. She may have married a Muggleborn but I know her child is a metamorphmagus, which usually implies gender fluidity. Andromeda is a daughter of the House of Black, and unlike Sirius, she was quite upset at being disowned over her association with Muggleborns. I believe this third faction may be appealing to her.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” Hermione said in response, and Severus hated himself for noticing how her eyes changed colour when she looked up at him and the light hit them. “I’ll ask Neville to contact his grandmother, and the twins are already working on some gender-affirming products they want to give me, so they could be useful. Ginny said Fred fancies me,” Hermione’s eyes rolled at the notion, clearly not returning whatever feelings the young man may have. Why did Severus feel a rush of something he couldn’t name at the idea of a man fancying Hermione?

Harry burst into the Room of Requirement covered in water, his invisibility cloak the only dry thing on him. “I think Malfoy’s been dosed with a love potion!” he said loudly, startling Ginny and Luna, who were playing a game of Exploding Snap.

“What? Why?” Ginny asked, while Luna said that he should have drunk some Gurdyroots to prevent such a thing.

“I was following him around the grounds--”

“Because you’re stalking him, okay.”

“--and he stripped down and jumped in the lake and started showing off cool swimming stuff, and he was looking right at me!”

“Did he actually say anything to you?” Ginny asked, palm slapping her forehead, cursing Harry’s ignorance.

“No, he didn’t, but what other explanation is there?”

“Maybe he fancies you, no potion needed,” Ginny suggested.

Harry got a ridiculous look on his face, as if Ginny had just suggested Malfoy was really Parvati Patil dressed as a man.

“Look, Harry, you two have been obsessed with each other since your first train ride to Hogwarts. Probably longer, in Draco’s case. And didn’t Dobby tell you he’d heard ‘tales of Harry Potter’s greatness’? Who in the Malfoy house would have told him tales of your greatness, Harry? Narcissa doesn’t seem the type for hero worship, and Lucius hates your guts. It had to be Draco.”

“Malfoy...fancies...me?” Harry said slowly, looking as if he were attempting to solve a complicated maths equation. “What do I do?”

“Fucking ask him on a date, you moron! If you like him back that is. If you don’t, then just ignore it. He’ll stop trying to impress you eventually.”

“Thanks Ginny!” Harry called as he ran out the door, still tracking lake water everywhere.

With a sigh and a thought, the lake water was gone from the room, and Ginny plopped down on a plush sofa. “How did I end up helping Harry fucking Potter with his boy troubles?” she whispered to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry Potter is my favorite idiot Gryffindor. He's so oblivious to everything, all the time. I love it. Poor Ginny. Now Harry's gonna always come to her with boy trouble.
> 
> Should this have Drarry smut or nah? I plan on Snamione smut being toward the very end, as it will take A While for them to get together, but I also kinda enjoy writing smut. This fic's focus isn't really on the relationships, but more on queer acceptance and how I think the wizarding world should deal with people outside the "norm". If I include Drarry smut I will include Ginny/Luna as well since I feel it's fair to include smut of both side pairings, both of which have significance to the plot. It would be fairly short scenes, 500 words each or so, and easy to skip if I do include smut. I want this fic to earn its Mature rating for more than one scene.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst in this chapter. Not a lot, and quickly resolved, but it does rear its ugly head. Warning for use of crude transphobic language and one instance of a homophobic slur bc Ron is really a giant douche. Also something that is definitely a type of sexual assault happens in here so tread carefully wrt that. Oh yeah, and mentions of self-mutilation via magic and domestic abuse, because Severus has had a very hard life.

“I am going to  _ kill _ Fred Weasley!” Hermione’s shrill voice rang out through the Room of Requirement as she rifled through the package the twins had sent her.

“What did he do?” Ginny asked. “If you’re going to kill him, it’d better fit the crime.”

Wordlessly, Hermione held up the smallest pair of red lace panties she had ever seen in her life, magically altered to hold her parts in place. “There are...so many G-strings in here. There’s a disproportionate amount of lingerie in here, actually. The swimsuits and everyday panties are fine, but I have no use for sexy underwear!”

“That could be due to the fact that I doubt my brothers have ever seen a woman in underwear who didn’t dress up specifically for the occasion.”

“There’s a note from Fred. I already burned it but he ‘wishes he could see me try all this on’.”

“I told him not to make it weird. Why did he not listen?” Ginny groaned.

“At least the everyday things will be useful, though. You have no idea how uncomfortable tucking gets,” Hermione said, resolutely refusing to even try on any of the “sexy” undergarments. “I’m burning anything with lace on it though.”

“You should at least keep some of it. I know you don’t think you’ll ever need it but you never know. And my brothers really did put a lot of work into this. They care about you. Even if Fred has a bit of an ulterior motive, they did it to make you more comfortable,” Ginny wrapped her arm around the taller girl’s shoulder, leading her over to a sofa away from the offending garments.

Severus Snape was torn. He wanted to tell Hermione about his own disastrous outing his fifth year, wanted to tell her how James Potter had called him a girl and transfigured his robes into dresses, wanted to recount how the headmaster had sighed and said perhaps he should consider being a lesbian when he reported Potter’s bullying. Severus wanted to share all the details of his own horrific experience and find a sense of companionship in the only other Muggle-raised transgender witch or wizard he’d ever met. Severus wanted to, but he was holding himself back.

Most transgender witches and wizards are put through the ritual for changing their physical sex before going to Hogwarts, so they’re indistinguishable from their cisgender peers. Tobias had beaten Eileen so badly she didn’t dare bring the subject up again after she timidly suggested it when Severus was nine years old. And of course Hermione’s parents were Muggles and wouldn’t have known about such a ritual.

Severus wasn’t sure if they were the only transgender magical folk past pubescence who were involuntarily left with their birth anatomy, but they for sure were the only ones he knew about. But she was his student, and no matter that his brain had taken to seeing her as more of a peer lately, he still would not push his burdens onto her for the sake of finding someone who understood him. She deserved much more than to be saddled with the twenty-years-past trauma of a young Severus Snape, to be forced to comfort him when she was going through the same thing right now and he was an adult whose birth sex was known only to whatever classmates remembered and the headmaster.

As he undressed for bed he softly touched the two self-inflicted  _ Sectumsempra _ scars on his chest where breasts once were, forever a reminder of his own self-loathing.

Ronald Weasley had done this intentionally, Hermione was positive. The smirk on his freckled face gave it away. She clutched McGonagall’s outer cloak closer to her bare body as she glared at the boy who, during a simple transfiguration exercise, had “accidentally” vanished every article of clothing on her body, instead of the teacup he was meant to be vanishing.

The entire class had goggled at her like she was an animal in a zoo as she made a hasty decision to cover her groin, leaving her breasts exposed in order to avoid the hateful thing between her legs being revealed to the class. McGonagall had quickly given Hermione her cloak to cover herself up, but the damage was done.

As she stayed behind for McGonagall to conjure her some clothes, she heard brief snippets of conversation. One in particular stuck in her head:

“She’s got great tits, you know,” Seamus Finnegan said to Ron as he left. “Shame about the pecker, though. Reckon she’d take it up the arse?”

“You really wanna fuck that thing? You a faggot, Finnegan?” Ron replied as the two mercifully went out of earshot.

Hermione shivered, though the cashmere jumper and boot-cut jeans the Transfiguration professor had made for her kept away the chill of the corridor. It was a chill that began inside her that made her shiver now, the thought that she’d never find a man who could love her for who she is front and center in her mind.

She walked quietly, tears landing on the soft jumper soaking through to her chilled skin, wandering with no destination in mind yet somehow winding up outside Professor Snape’s office. She didn’t even knock, entering the room and conjuring a plush chair then curling up in a ball and beginning to sob.

Hearing his door open and close, Severus looked up from marking the seventh years’ essays on blood magic to find Hermione conjuring a chair and proceeding to curl up in it, sobs wracking through her body as she obviously tried to keep quiet. His heart ached for the poor girl, put in this position by a bigoted old man with no empathy. He silently stood and approached her, gently touching her shoulder so as not to startle her. “Would you tell me what happened?” he requested, praying that she would trust him that much. Her trust would be the greatest gift he could receive.

The poor girl nodded and looked up at him briefly, unable to meet his eyes. “We were in transfiguration. The assignment was to vanish teacups. Ronald Weasley...he...vanishedmyclothes,” the last bit comes out in a rush.

“Including your undergarments?” Severus asked, trying to control the rage he was feeling. Hermione nodded. Severus was going to request to take the detention the boy had no doubt earned, and Ronald Weasley would suffer. This was far worse than the time James Potter had hung Severus upside-down and took off his pants. Hermione had been stripped completely naked in front of her entire year group. Severus wished, for the first time in his career, that corporal punishment were allowed at Hogwarts so he could beat the boy bloody for doing something so cruel. “He will not get away with this, Hermione,” Severus said, trying to keep his anger in check so as not to frighten the girl. “I will make him pay.”

“Have him feed the thestrals,” the girl suggested. “At night.” She let out a small laugh, presumably at the thought of Ronald Weasley in the middle of the forbidden forest at night, feeding demonic flying horses.

“I could assign him to muck out the hippogriff paddock. Or give the giant squid some potion that I completely fabricate the need for.”

“Have him clean the owlery without magic, he’d hate that.”

“I’m sure between the two of us we can come up with enough suitable punishments for the boy who violated you in such a way. Though of course, a truly fitting punishment is impossible within these walls.”

Hermione smiled, appearing much better after devising plans for Ronald’s sure-to-be numerous detentions in the coming months. “Thank you, Professor Snape, for allowing me to come here when I need to. I can’t express how much it means to me that you care about my well-being.”

Severus smiled back at the girl, touched at her gratitude. Oh, fuck it. “Hermione, you may call me Severus in private, and around other teachers who know of this arrangement. Currently that is only Minerva, but we are hopeful to find more support among the staff.”

Hermione blushed crimson at being given permission to use Severus’s given name. “Thank you...Severus. Since the incident after the holidays I confess I’ve grown to consider you a friend as well as my professor.”

Oh sweet Merlin no, why was he furthering their departure from a simple student-professor dynamic? “That means a great deal, Hermione, coming from you. I’ve grown to consider you a friend as well. You have free time until supper, do you not? Please feel free to read any books you may find here, and I shall be available should you desire conversation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the chapter had to be done because I find the idea of Fred being absolutely besotted with an indifferent Hermione and going about it in an absolutely Wrong way to be quite entertaining. He will stop if she ever tells him to, but right now he just thinks he's Wooing her while she's burning his suggestive notes and yelling about lingerie. Hopefully she'll reject him at some point before Snape finds out. In the meantime Ginny will send him a Howler or two about respecting women.
> 
> I also love the idea of Fred Weasley being absolutely clueless about girls meanwhile George has a steady boyfriend in Oliver Wood and completely ignores Fred's helplessness about romance. Kinda want Fred to end up with Tonks tbh.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter six! I've not felt the best this past week and I just finished writing this chapter earlier this evening, but I was determined to have at least a small chapter to update today. The events of this chapter have been planned more or less since the beginning, and I'm curious to see everyone's reactions.

Ginny finally worked up the courage to say something the Tuesday before Easter Holidays began. She’d been spending a lot of time with Luna, and come to the conclusion that her best friend wasn’t merely eccentric; there was something actually wrong. Professor Snape was the best option she could think of as to someone well-versed in mind magic, so she decided that, if Luna could see that there was a problem, she would take her friend to him for help. Since Luna’s delusions and hallucinations were ultimately harmless, however, it was entirely up to Luna whether she wanted to get rid of them or not.

“Luna,” the redhead began hesitantly, “I think we should talk about the creatures you see, and how the castle talks to you. You see, I’ve read about a condition where people see and hear things others don’t, things that aren’t really there. They’re real to you, but they’re not actually there and no one else can see or hear them. You have beliefs that are very deeply held but entirely irrational, and as a Ravenclaw you should be able to logically see that they’re unrealistic. I think we should ask Professor Snape to look at your mind and see if he has any advice.”

“I won’t hear the nargles anymore?” the blonde asked quietly, considering it.

“Maybe. Maybe it won’t work, or nothing can be done, but I don’t like seeing you trapped in a fantasy world unable to live in reality.”

Luna sat quietly, unblinking, as Professor Snape performed Legilimency on her to determine whether she could merit a diagnosis of childhood-onset schizophrenia. “Well, Miss Lovegood, you certainly fit the positive symptoms of the disorder. Tell me, do you ever have difficulty focusing on anything, fatigue so bad you just lie in bed, odd speech patterns such as words being in the wrong order, or inability to enjoy activities you engage in? Those are examples of negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Most schizophrenic people have those as well, though they’re not necessary to diagnose the psychotic aspect.”

“I do find myself unable to finish my homework on time a lot. Most of the time it just ends up stolen anyway, though, so I pay it no mind. I do require a bit more rest than other people seem to; I tend to be first to bed and last to rise,” Luna says quietly.

“There is a potion that can be used to treat this condition. Would you like me to brew it for you?”

“Oh, yes please! I’d love to know what it’s like to live without the wrackspurts fogging up my brain!”

Severus sighed as the headmaster summoned him after the girls left. It was too much to ask for a bit of downtime, he supposed. “Ah, Severus, my child, how have you been?,” Dumbledore asked without leaving time for Severus to answer. “I’ve just been informed that Mister Granger has not spent a single night in the boys’ dormitory, yet the girls report they’ve not seen him either. You share a similar...dysfunction. Where do you believe the boy is sleeping? Surely another house would not allow him to sleep in their common room?”

Severus swallowed back the bile that threatened to rise at Dumbledore’s careless misgendering, but the word ‘dysfunction’ did him in. “I haven’t the foggiest, because, as you recall, Headmaster, the school governers intervened when you suggested I room with the ‘other girls’ after James Potter came spouting off about what he overheard Lily Evans talking to me about. Somehow I escaped the horrific treatment Hermione is forced to endure, probably due to the fact that I was born with a vagina. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have many more palatable things to do than hearing the most intelligent witch I’ve ever met be constantly referred to as ‘the boy’.”

The first thing Severus did after locking the door to his quarters was write letters to Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Minerva. He penned his letter of resignation with a steady hand, knowing Dumbledore would keep close watch on him were he to stay. Finally, using every ward and locking spell, both dark and light, that would suit his purposes, he charmed his office only to open to Hermione’s magical signature making contact with the knob voluntarily.

He hadn’t planned to leave the school while the old man yet lived, but he’d shown his true colours today defending both himself and Hermione from the tyrant’s bigoted nonsense, and while it was done in a fit of temper, he would say it again in a heartbeat to see the stunned look on the old bat’s face. The old man’s misogyny had saved Severus from Hermione’s fate, he was certain of that. He saw Severus as a silly confused woman, while Hermione he saw as a gay boy in denial, one he could help along with a push in the “right” direction.

Severus owled his resignation letter from Hogsmeade before apparating to Malfoy Manor.

“Severus, my friend, what a surprise,” Voldemort said, raising his eyebrows. “I was under the impression you were set to remain at Hogwarts until Draco completed his task.”

“I’m afraid I have compromised my position as spy, my Lord. I thus resigned from my position at Hogwarts as I am no longer in Dumbledore’s favor. The old man cares nothing for the traditions of our people, and ignores magic that is inborn and unchanging. I lost my temper. I have failed you.” Severus bowed his head and braced himself for the pain of the Cruciatus, but it didn’t come. Instead, Voldemort spoke.

“You speak of the situation with the Granger girl, correct? I know the old man attempted to do much the same to you in your fifth year. Losing your temper is, while regrettable, entirely understandable. You remain in contact with the girl, do you not?”

“Yes, my Lord. My former office is now warded only to open to her magical signature should she voluntarily touch the knob. I could easily floo there if needed,” Severus says, privately thinking that there was no way in hell he’d ever let the Dark Lord anywhere near the muggle-born girl he’d come to think of as a friend.

“You trust her,” the Dark Lord stated. “Do you think that wise? Her closeness to Potter concerns me.”

“Potter’s loyalty is to her far more than hers is to him, my Lord. The Weasley whelp has adopted the old man’s Muggle prejudices, and Potter no longer associates with him for the hurt he caused the girl. The girl, however, has befriended Draco and myself, and her hatred for the old man rivals only yours and my own. She can be trusted.”

“How have you come to this conclusion, Severus? Show me.  _ Legilimens, _ ” Voldemort entered Severus’s mind and the former professor pulled up his memories of the girl in his office, showing the Dark Lord his first conversation about bigotry with the girl nearly in full, save for that which showed his true loyalties. He pushed forward the memories of his own foray into the girl’s mind, her burning hatred for Dumbledore and the Weasley boy chief among them. The Dark Lord nodded in satisfaction and withdrew from Severus’s mind.

Minerva looked over the instructions for Ronald Weasley’s detention that Severus had left. She had to admit for the boy with a fear of spiders, spending the night collecting acromantula silk would be a fitting punishment. She wished Severus hadn’t resigned, as he would have been best to oversee the boy’s sentence, but accepted that he would be far more useful plotting against Dumbledore outside the school where, however distasteful the thought may be, he would be able to stay at Malfoy Manor and work with the Dark faction to bring about Dumbledore’s fall.

She smiled as she re-read Severus’s instructions to watch over Hermione. Whether the man knew it or not, she could see that he’d grown fond of the young witch, calling her a friend. It was about time Severus Snape found a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schizophrenic!Luna is my absolute favorite thing ever. As a schizophrenic person myself, I really love the idea of psychotic!Luna.
> 
> And Severus has left Hogwarts... I hope you're not too upset with me for that but it was planned pretty much from the beginning. Don't worry, he'll still get to see Hermione through the floo in his office, and McGonagall will watch over her as well. In the next chapter we'll see Hermione's reaction to Severus leaving, as well as some plotting regarding Dumbledore.
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated; I love each and every comment I receive.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've written. I tried to keep it as short as possible, but it wouldn't stop!
> 
> Trigger warning for bullying and sexual assault, as well as a scene of self-performed top surgery. There's a flashback that takes up about half of the chapter to Severus's school days, so if you want to skip the triggering material, stop reading when you reach the second block of italics (the first being the letter at the beginning of the chapter). There's a summary at the end of the chapter, though the scene is based on a canon occurrence that Harry viewed in Snape's Pensieve.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if you like Sirius Black. I like him in other fics, and I personally have even read fics shipping him with Hermione, but in this fic he has to be a bad guy. Like, a very bad guy. I'm sorry.

_ Dear Hermione, _

_ I regret that it’s necessary to tell you this via writing, but I have left Hogwarts for the foreseeable future. I’ve resigned my post as Defence professor and by the time you read this I will be safely -- or as safely as one can be in the presence of Death Eaters -- hidden at Malfoy Manor. I’m afraid I lost my temper regarding the old man’s treatment of you, and felt it best to leave the castle before he saw fit to monitor me more closely and thus discovered our meetings. _

_ My office has been warded so that you alone may open the door, and only if you wish to enter. I hope that you will continue to find a safe space within those walls, and that you will make regular use of it. If you wish to see me while at school, I can visit my office via floo. _

_ I hope to convince the Dark Lord that you have come over to his side so that you are only being hunted by one side of the war, rather than both. If you are willing, I would have you pretend to “spy” at Hogwarts for the Dark Lord, and I will share with him only what information makes you appear loyal to his cause, and nothing incriminating of Potter. I would not have you be anywhere near him, as volatile as he is, but I can share with him whatever information you gather. _

_ I hope to spend the Easter holidays building our own third faction in the war, and planning our attacks on both Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, and I would very much enjoy your company over the Easter holidays, if you’re agreeable. I will be in my office the day before holidays begin so that you may inform me of your decision. _

_ Yours, _

_ Severus Snape _

Hermione read the letter again, a few tears dripping down and blurring the ink. She supposed she should be grateful that she at least had her safe space still, but she felt as if a hole had been punched in her chest with Severus’s absence.

The day before holidays begin...that was tomorrow. He hadn’t provided a time so she inferred that he would most likely be spending the day in his office. She would definitely accept his invitation to spend the Easter holidays together.

As Hermione lay down to sleep that night, she clutched Severus’s letter close to her heart and fell asleep wishing it was the professor himself.

Severus had only been in his former office for about half an hour when the door opened and Hermione entered, looking as if she’d just rolled out of bed. A thrill went through him at the sight of her disheveled state, and he chastised himself for having such thoughts about a student, for though he was no longer her professor, and she was of age, he was still twenty years her senior and had taught her since the girl was eleven years old.

Hermione yawned, then turned to face him, her face lighting up in a brilliant smile as she met his eyes. “Good morning, Severus,” she said. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you as well, Hermione,” he said. “I apologise for my abrupt departure from the castle, but the headmaster and I had a disagreement and I felt it best I leave. Have you made a decision regarding my offer to spend the Easter holidays at my residence?”

“Oh yes. I’d love to spend the holidays with you, Severus. It’ll get me away from the castle as well as giving us ample opportunity to work on creating the third faction and planning our strategy for the war.”

“That is, I hope, not your only reason for agreeing to my company. You are free to go where you wish, and you could just as easily stay in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley; I would gladly pay for a room at the Three Broomsticks or Leaky Cauldron for you.”

Severus was pleased to see that the girl got a look of horror on her face at the thought of spending her holidays elsewhere. She hurriedly clarified, “Oh, no, sir, I’m ever so grateful for your offer to join you for the holidays, and I’m very much looking forward to spending time with you away from Dumbledore’s watchful eye. I very much enjoy spending time with you and wouldn’t dare trade this opportunity for a room in Diagon Alley.”

Hermione was shocked that Severus would dare think for a minute that she didn’t enjoy spending time with him. The past couple months spent meeting in his office at least once a day, talking about everything and nothing, had been some of the best of her life. Severus never once acted like he pitied her situation, and he spoke to her as though he understood the pain she was feeling at Dumbledore’s commands. He spoke often of a friend he’d known in school who was female-to-male transsexual, and Hermione often wondered who said friend was, and whether she knew him.

She moved to sit in one of a pair of chairs he’d seemingly placed in his office solely for their talks. “How have things been at Malfoy Manor, sir?”

“As well as can be expected for sharing a living space with an insane megalomaniac,” Severus replied, lips quirking up briefly in a ghost of a smirk. “Narcissa has managed to contact her sister Andromeda, and we’ll be meeting with them, as well as Andromeda’s child and Draco, multiple times over the holidays. Andromeda is firmly on our side, as is her child Nymphadora.”

“Tonks?” Hermione asked, shocked. She’d never really given much thought to Tonks, honestly. The fact that the auror was on their side was a great benefit to them, however.

“Yes, Hermione. Nymphadora Tonks is eager to assist us in any way they can, and has, in fact, suggested that we experiment with some of their DNA for a transition-related potion, that perhaps the metamorphmagus DNA will provide the drinker with the ability to transform their body into the sex they identify with.”

Hermione grinned hugely. “That’s brilliant, Severus!” She wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek, before remembering who he was and quickly looking to make her exit. “I have to get back to the Room of Requirement now, but I suppose I’ll meet you at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters tomorrow?”

Severus nodded mutely, his cheek tingling where the girl’s lips had touched it, and watched as she fled the room. He shakily let out a breath he’d been holding since her sudden hug and lifted his hand to touch where her lips had been. When was the last time he’d had a hug? When was the last time a witch had kissed him? Lily, most likely. In the twenty years since he couldn’t recall a single occurrence of a witch wanting to be physically close to him. Even Minerva, whom he saw as a mother figure, had never hugged him or reached out to him.

He recalled his last kiss with Lily, on the grounds of Hogwarts the very day she’d left him, just a few short minutes before James Potter outed him to the entire school.

_ O.W.L.s were finally finished, and Severus was glad to be done with them. He’d been driving Lily mad revising constantly, barely making time for a quick snog before going back to his books. As he left the castle to walk the grounds she pulled him aside into the shadows, pressing his back into the cool stone wall. _

_ “Hello there,” he said, grinning down at his witch who met his gaze with longing in her eyes. _

_ “Exams are over, Sev. Remember what you told me last month?” Lily’s smile was suggestive, and Severus remembered promising Lily that once exams were over they would be together properly. He was nervous. She would be the first person to see him naked since childhood, and he was worried once she saw his breasts and the lack of a penis she wouldn’t want him; though she was aware of his status as transgender he was still worried. _

_ “Tonight, Room of Requirement. I promise I’ll be there, Lily,” he said, leaning in and kissing her for a few seconds before heading out onto the grounds. _

_ Then it all fell apart. As he was walking across the grounds, he was accosted by James Potter and Sirius Black, whose entire reason for existence seemed to be tormenting him. After being hung in the air, having his mouth scourgified for his language, and having his trousers removed, Lily came over to where he was. _

_ Why had she taken so long to come to his rescue? Couldn’t she see what Potter was doing to him, and that he was on the verge of outing Severus to the entire school? His mouth moved seemingly without his permission as that fucking word left his mouth, as he called the only person who’d ever loved him a slur. He saw the look on her face, the shock, the betrayal, as she called for him to wash his pants and used Potter’s favorite name for him before walking away. _

_ “Who wants to see me take Snivelly’s pants off?” James Potter asked the crowd that had gathered, and oh no, anything but that, he began to cry at the thought of being exposed to seemingly the entire school. _

_ To the cheers of the mass of students, Severus felt his underwear be vanished as a cool breeze hit that dreaded area. Severus was sobbing, not listening to James speak, but as he felt the touch of someone’s hand roughly spreading him open, he looked up to see Sirius Black with a wicked smile on his face as he explored the area no one had ever seen, that Severus had been planning to share with Lily that very night. _

_ After what felt like hours but was probably only fifteen minutes, the Marauders decided they were bored and released Severus from where he’d been hanging in midair, and he crumpled to the ground, searching for his trousers with tears blurring his vision, finally finding them only to notice a large tear across the middle seam. It was better than being completely exposed, however, so he resigned himself to the breeze he felt with every step. _

_ He went to the showers, taking his wand hoping he’d perfected this spell enough for this to work. He placed his wand on the edge of his breast, incanting  _ Sectumsempra _ and working to remove the awful thing, taking about half an hour, then repeating the process for the second one, holding the skin together to heal a smooth chest in the place of the things that had plagued him since he was thirteen. Calmed down now, staring at his flat nipple-less chest in shock, he thought about his current situation. _

_ Severus knew Lily wasn’t likely to be in the mood for amorous activities that night, but he waited in the Room of Requirement to apologize to the girl, praying she’d forgive him for the things he’d said in his anger. _

_ She wasn’t there. He went to Gryffindor Tower and she refused to see him. Weeks passed and he received a breakup note via owl, and she still refused to see him. She began to spend time with Potter and his pack. By seventh year, she was dating Potter and had seemingly been swayed to his views on transgender wizards, referring to him as her “lesbian phase”. _

_ Despite her betrayal, he still tried to protect her, and when he failed, he vowed to protect her son as if he were his own. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the flashback for those who skipped it: Severus and Lily are together, planning to "go all the way" that evening in the Room of Requirement. James and Sirius catch Severus, canon scene from HBP where they use Levicorpus then humiliate him and threaten to take off his pants, and in a fit of anger he calls Lily a Mudblood, James exposes him to a crowd, Sirius touches him inappropriately without his consent, Lily refuses to forgive him and eventually dates James Potter and starts thinking of Severus as her "lesbian phase".
> 
> I'm really looking forward to all of your comments and reactions to this chapter! I've been planning on using that canon scene of Severus's bullying in a flashback for a while, with my own spin on it as you saw there. There won't often be flashbacks in this fic, but they will appear occasionally, always from Severus's point of view.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly a filler chapter but it does have two important developments and some planning for the future. I wrote it in like two hours so I hope it's good.

Hermione headed for a nearby alcove as soon as she left Severus’s office. Her heart was racing and she was glad to have left when she did. Being in close quarters with Severus...did things to her. Her stomach was fluttering and her chest was tight, and she felt slightly dizzy. When she’d thrown her arms around him, she’d been able to catalogue every detail of his scent. There was some sort of cologne, but also the familiar smells of ingredients used for potions; he’d been brewing recently. The scent was heavenly.

His skin had been soft under her lips as she kissed his cheek, and her lips were still tingling from the contact with the stubble that resided there (it appeared it had been a few days since his last shave). She’d been prepared for that feeling, though.

What she hadn’t been prepared for was the bolt of heat that ran through her body as she pulled herself against him during the hug, her arms around his neck, feeling his muscled shoulders, her torso pressed against the lithe muscles of his, somehow she could feel the heat of his body through the many layers he wore and it took her breath away.

She leaned back against the stone wall of the castle and caught her breath, looking down to make sure she wasn’t visibly aroused. She thanked any gods that might exist for the Weasley twins’ custom undergarments saving her that embarrassment. She knew it would go away on its own in time, and since it wasn’t visible, she left the alcove and headed to the Room of Requirement. She needed to pack her things for her stay at Severus’s home.

Severus’s home. Oh, merlin, she would be spending an entire week with him, mostly just the two of them. She’d always known on a subconscious level that she fancied Professor Snape, but she’d never allowed herself to realize it until today, it seems. Telling herself that it was entirely improper to have such thoughts about someone in a position of authority over her, who in addition was twenty years her senior and had known her as an eleven-year-old  _ child _ , she opened the door to the room to find Ginny pacing back and forth, speaking to Harry and Draco, neither of which would meet her eyes.

Ginny had been having a good day. She went for a walk with Luna, who was doing well with her new potions regimen and had started noticing improved cognitive abilities as well as no longer hearing and seeing strange creatures. She’d put on a bit of weight as a side effect, but Ginny didn’t mind that. Luna was still far from fat, and now her mind was finally becoming healthy after years of illness.

They spent the morning walking along the edge of the lake, spending a few minutes patting the tentacles of the giant squid that basked in the shallows, then spend a while lounging in the grass, talking about their plans for the break. Ginny and Luna were both going to the Burrow, along with Harry, who for the first time wouldn’t be rooming with Ron, but rather staying in Percy’s old room now that the prat had finally got a flat nearer the Ministry.

She should have known somehow that her day would be ruined at some point. She was sitting in the Room of Requirement with Luna’s head in her lap, playing with the blonde’s hair, when Harry burst into the room carrying a familiar-looking white ferret. Oh no...

Harry left the Great Hall after lunch, his plans to go flying rudely interrupted by his discovery of a white ferret desperately trying to get his attention in the corridor. “Malfoy?” he asked, and the ferret made some sort of ferret noise, apparently in agreement. Harry picked up the ferret, wondering why his life could never be normal, and headed to the Room of Requirement.

He burst into the room, and Ginny looked from his panicked state to the ferret in his hands and let out a groan. “Is that...Malfoy?” she asked, and Harry sighed.

“I honestly don’t know. I mean, he made a little ferrety noise when I asked if he was, so I think so, but I didn’t see him turned into a ferret but I’m pretty sure this is Draco. I don’t know how to turn him back,” Harry said desperately, a few tears threatening to fall.

Ginny walked over and wrapped her arm around him, leading him to sit on a sofa. “Have you tried a finite?” she asked.

Harry suddenly felt very stupid. He should’ve tried that. He sat the ferret next to him on the sofa and pointed his wand at it. “Finite incantatem,” he incanted, and suddenly a very annoyed Draco Malfoy was sat where moments before had been a ferret.

Draco wanted to cry. He’d been a bloody ferret all morning, ever since the fucking Weasel had turned him on his way to breakfast. He finally found Potter, thinking the moron would at least have the brains to cast a finite on him when he found him, but no, Potter had to carry him halfway across the fucking castle before the Weaselette could remind him of a bloody first-year spell.

He felt an arm hesitantly wrap around his shoulders and looked up to see Potter staring at him, appearing concerned. “Alright, Malfoy?” Harry asked, the usual mocking tone in their interactions nowhere to be found.

Draco nodded, leaning into Harry’s side and burying his face in the shirt of the Boy-Who-Lived, proceeding to ruin it with tears. Living an entire six hours as a ferret had been a harrowing experience, one he never wished to repeat, and he let out all the anger he felt at the involuntary transformation, the helplessness of being a small animal, the terror of being nearly stepped on, the frustration over lack of thumbs, all of it poured out through his eyes into the soft cotton of the Gryffindor’s shirt.

Ginny allowed the blonde boy to cry himself out and get control of his emotions before turning to fact the two boys on the sofa. “Now that we’ve all let out emotions out, I think we all need to have a nice discussion about our feelings,” she said wickedly. “Harry, you obviously still haven’t taken my advice from our last talk. Malfoy, this isn’t your fault, but it still involves you so I’m including you in this discussion.”

The two boys looked up at the ginger girl in shock. Malfoy wiped his face on his sleeve, then they both fixed their eyes on the flagstone floor as if it contained the answers to every question in the world as Ginny began to berate them for having yet to become a couple.

Hermione paused after opening the door. “Is this a bad time?” she asked Ginny. Ginny looked as if she’d been ranting a while, and both Harry and Draco were shaking and pale.

“No, it’s fine. I was just explaining to these two dunderheads how fucking ridiculous they’ve been about their mutual attraction. Harry, Draco, you may leave now,” Ginny said with the air of one granting a great privilege.

Harry and Draco left the room very quickly as Hermione went to the closet the room had made for her and began putting together outfits. She found enough clothes for her entire stay with Severus, both Muggle and Wizarding, then looked surreptitiously at the box stuffed into the corner. It couldn’t hurt to pack some of it, right? She knew that packing lingerie was simply wishful thinking, but that didn’t stop her from including a white lace bra and panty set among her more sensible cotton underthings.

On the Hogwarts Express, Luna, Harry, Ginny, Draco, and Hermione shared a compartment, speaking freely among themselves about Hermione’s idea for a third faction in the war. Harry and Draco were sitting quite closely together, Hermione noticed, though she didn’t comment on it. It was about time those two came to their senses.

Ginny suggested that Severus and Hermione stop by the Burrow at some point during the week to try to recruit a few Weasleys; thought Fred, George, and Ginny were firmly on board and Ronald firmly against the faction led by Hermione she thought Charlie, Bill, or her parents might be interested in joining, an idea that Hermione decided she would share with Severus once she arrived.

Hermione spent the ride nervous in the back of her mind about spending a week alone with Severus. She was sure she’d do something wrong and he’d learn about her attraction to him, and then he’d be disgusted with her. Not only did he most likely still see her as an insufferable know-it-all and a child, there was the matter of her unique situation. Though Severus had demonstrated unwavering acceptance for Hermione’s state as transsexual, she had it on good authority (that authority being Harry during his “I’m-dating-Malfoy” conversation) that “liking cock makes a bloke gay, obviously”, and she couldn’t change the fact that she very much had one of those, and she doubted very much that Severus would want anything to do with it, even if by some miracle he did return her feelings.

“What are you thinking about so intensely, Hermione?” Draco asked, about an hour outside of London.

She blushed but managed to cheekily reply, “My penis,” causing everyone in the compartment to laugh. She smiled. She wished everyone were as accepting as these four friends she’d grown to consider her chosen family. Her worries about Severus and her confusing feelings toward him were forgotten for the rest of the journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Hermione finally realized that she has feelings for Severus. Don't worry, it's still going to be a while before they get together, but now we get to the mutual pining part of the slow burn *laughs evilly*. Also, we're getting closer to that M rating...
> 
> As always, comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I eagerly await your responses to this chapter.


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